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Using her arrest as a turning point, April enrolled in Window of Clarity, determined not to let this opportunity pass her by. As scared as she was, April was determined to make the best of a tough situation. “I can’t change what happened. But everyone can grow. I want to dig into who I am and improve myself through this experience.”
As April progressed through Window of Clarity, she gained new insight into how much of her life was working well. She was engaged to the man she loved. She had a smart, beautiful daughter and a career she enjoyed. April could also see where she was letting herself down. She did a great job taking care of others at home and at work, but she didn’t do near enough to take care of herself. The stress and exhaustion from caring for everyone else had built up over the past years and was affecting April’s happiness and success. She said, “I know I need to focus on myself. It’s just hard for me to say no. I’m realizing I can’t do my best if I say yes too much.”
After just a few weeks in the program, April was already doing things differently and, even better, feeling differently! She was asking for help as she needed it. She was delegating at work to feel less overloaded, which was even more important and she was given a well-earned promotion. She was communicating what she needed and wanted more clearly and directly than she ever had before. She felt great! April even noticed that as she did less, others around her did more and she found a better balance of helping and being helped. April noted, “I take more time for myself now. I’m practicing speaking my mind in a way that’s direct and positive at the same time. And these are all things I can teach my daughter.”
Window of Clarity helped Amy reframe how she thought about herself, what she wanted. “(It) reminded me of other things I’m passionate about, that I want, that I’d let go of in marriage.” Amy was a “really good worrier” and often felt like she was in “reactive survival mode” With time she has been able to quiet the “negative self-talk” and focus on being good to herself, her kids, her friends and family.
Moving into her own apartment brought so many emotions. Not being with her children all of the time was heartbreaking. Focusing her energy on something positive like this course helped Amy sort through those feelings. “It was a life vest, a place of security to have a conversation with myself about what was happening”. Window of Clarity helped give structure to this evolution, her new life.
Amy started focusing on gratitude. It wasn’t always easy but, with time, gratitude started helping her reframe the hard times, even the little things made a difference. Her outlook became more positive and she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. She was able to move through the emotions that come along with divorce and learned how to embrace being alone.
Divorce is hard. Soul shattering. Can make you feel like a horrible person and that everything is your fault. Amy is so glad to have had this course on her side!
Then one afternoon, returning from golfing and drinks with friends, Michael was arrested for a DUI. The shock of being arrested forced Michael to take a deeper look at what was really happening in his life. The pressure and stress he felt providing for his family, taking care of an aging parent and traveling for work were building up to an intolerable level. It felt like everything was on his shoulders. Without realizing it, Michael had begun drinking more often. A private man in general, he began holding in more and more of his stress and unhappiness.
When Michael started the Window of Clarity he was beginning to realize something had to change. Within the first week, Michael had already discovered something positive to work towards instead of just worrying about his DUI.
The results were outstanding! Michael’s whole perspective shifted from overburdened and exhausted to hopeful and energized. He began running again. He set goals for his family and for himself with a focus on what made him truly happy. He was no longer lost in the fog of stress, but could be the engaged father and husband he wanted to be. Upon graduation from the Window of Clarity, Michael felt happier, more confident and positive about his future. “This was a paradigm shift for me,” he stated. Instead of the DUI being a low point in Michael’s life, it became a source of gratitude and positive change that he “wouldn’t trade for anything.”
After finding the right law firm to help him, Ron began asking himself some very real questions about how he found himself in this situation, and what can he learn from it. Then, Ron learned about Window of Clarity and he jumped in with both feet. Window of Clarity helped Ron take a hard look at himself. He started paying attention to how he was managing fear and worry. He started focusing on what he can do to improve his life situation rather than focusing on how it went wrong. And sure enough, things started changing for him. His co-workers noticed a lighter, more confident Ron. The positive feedback helped him keep at it. Window of Clarity has helped Ron to get to a place to be able to release his resentment and anger towards his ex-wife. He is now very conscious about taking the ‘high road’ through this divorce. He’s practicing boundary setting, being firm and concise about his wants and needs, and not spiraling downward through anger or negativity. Ron believes that if he did not have Window of Clarity to focus his energy on that he would be in a very different place. He credits Window of Clarity with truly helping him be the positive person he strives to be.
After Mitch’s arrest, Jan encouraged Mitch to do Window of Clarity. It was time for Mitch to take charge of his life and make it into something he could be proud of. At first, Mitch was terrified to move past the ‘safety’ of where he was stalled; in reality, he was afraid to try again because he had failed so many times before. Yet Window of Clarity challenged him in ways he responded to. He began thinking differently and focusing on small steps and then building on his successes. Window of Clarity gave him the structure and support he needed to make forward progress. There were times he didn’t want to do the work, to answer the tough questions. But with his mother’s support, he persevered and saw how he was learning to be more open with the important people in his life. He started living again, doing activities he loved, like baseball and hiking. Those small successes soon turned into bigger accomplishments.
By the end of his work with Window of Clarity, Mitch had a job and was trying new hobbies like soccer and painting with his girlfriend. He was exercising regularly, eating well, sleeping better. His relationships with his mom and sister were “at their peak” as he purposefully put energy into them. He could see himself in a whole new light, not as lazy or stuck, but as doing well and enjoying his life. In a near fairy-tale ending, Mitch was even asked to try out for two different semi-pro baseball teams, a dream he’d kept hidden for years. Jan couldn’t be more proud of her son’s accomplishments, or more relieved at the reappearance of the loving, charismatic and successful person she knew was hiding inside Mitch all along.
This time, Terry chose to do something different. He took the opportunity to engage in Window of Clarity and ask himself the tough questions about how his life was going. He realized he was tired of the life he had been living. He had the courage to look at what drinking meant for him in his life and how it was affecting his choices, his relationships and who he was as a person.
Within two weeks in the Window of Clarity, Terry was already noticing a difference. “As I move through (it), I gain momentum with the concepts. I was a pretty confused guy a month ago, and now I’m a different guy. I’m glad to leave that confused guy behind.”
Terry made great strides in choosing to be sober and in changing how he thought about life. He began to create the life he wanted to be living, with confidence and clarity. Window of Clarity helped Terry maximize his chance to break with his history of alcoholism, and he made the most of his opportunity.
Taking a hard look at her life through Window of Clarity’s questions and setting goals for what it is she really wanted, Dawn was able to begin to create a life that supported her happiness and self-worth. She began to build new traditions with her kids, reconnect to friends she had drifted away from and to believe that she was indeed strong enough to get through this divorce.
As Danielle waded through a difficult legal process with her daughter’s father she felt overwhelmed, at times defeated and angry at the battles she continually had to fight for her daughter and for herself. She realized she wasn’t even sure what she wanted as she built her new life. She realized how much of herself she had given up during the marriage as she tried to keep the peace. How was she supposed to begin again, support herself and be the mom she wanted to be to her daughter? Window of Clarity helped Danielle to break from old patterns of avoiding conflict and giving up what she wanted. Danielle came to the realization that she never deserved the violence that occurred in her marriage. She learned that taking care of herself made her a better mother and that listening to what she really wanted made it possible to create a new life that supported her health both physically and emotionally. Through her work with Window of Clarity Danielle realized that being uncomfortable is ok. Her advice to anyone going through a divorce is to remember that “you’re going to be really uncomfortable right now. You’re redefining your life, that’s going to be painful. There has to be some discomfort to grow. Remember why you’re doing this!” Danielle was able to let go of her anger towards her ex-husband and find ways to be clear about what she wanted and the boundaries that needed to be in place both for herself and their daughter.
As Shin began the program, he said he liked the “do it yourself” aspect of the homework. He has always been interested in growing his self-awareness and this was a new way to do so. He said, “I’d do one phase of the program and the second would unfold, both in expected and unexpected ways.”
As Shin worked through the Window of Clarity program, attended the group calls and focused on where he was spending his mental energy, he realized he was constantly focused on worry about his business. Through Window of Clarity, Shin was able to shift his mindset and begin thinking about how he could use this break in business to re-imagine the services he provided. He had always wanted to incorporate acupuncture with meditation and now realized he had the time to research this and create a new way of working with patients. With this shift in focus, Shin found he was excited instead of worried. He said his new mantra became “’Stop worrying, things will work out.” The best part is, things did work out. As Shin worked on his new plan for clients and as quarantine restrictions lifted, his clients came back and his business rebounded, now with a new and exciting approach for his clients.
As Susan jumped into the program she saw how Window of Clarity really provided a step by step process to follow. She said, “There was someone guiding me to do the work but also not telling me what to do. It didn’t trigger my inner rebel, it just offered a chance to look at some things and work on those in my own way.”
The more Susan delved into the questions and practices of Window of Clarity, the more she realized she didn’t feel in control of her own life. She talked about realizing she was responding to everything that was coming at her as if it needed her attention immediately, whether she really wanted to or not. Susan soon began to slow things down a bit and prioritize where to spend her energy. She began to not just survive the day, but to choose what to focus on and what that meant for her current day and for her future.
The journaling portion of the program was also a big win for Susan. While journaling was a familiar practice to Susan in the past, the structure and format of the Window of Clarity journaling highlighted new areas for her. “That daily check in was amazing!” she said. “It reminded me to look forward to things in life, be grateful, and especially to actually do the things I wanted to be doing.”
